I’m in the early days of returning to church/work after a sabbatical that I began in late April (if you’re interested in the background behind the sabbatical, you can read about it here). For those who don’t want a long read and aren’t familiar with the terminology, a sabbatical is a break from the normality of church life that is offered to clergy every 7-10 years). The purpose of this time is rest, refreshment and renewal, of which I needed all three of these things – as well as reconnection, with my family, my gifting and my God..
In the middle of my sabbatical, I found myself on a hotel balcony overlooking the start finish line and pit lane at Silverstone racing circuit. I’d won a prize of VIP entry for 2 to a James Arthur concert (currently my favourite singer-songwriter, as readers of my blog have probably worked out!) in Northampton followed by a night at the Hilton hotel at the Silverstone Race Track. It was a random, but incredibly fun experience as I got to take my daughter, Isabelle for one of her first full-length concerts.
This trip to Silverstone was an example of the kindness of God that I experienced throughout this time, with family, friends, and just with myself and God. It was such a rich time – it was wonderful to fully immerse myself in family life and spend more time with my kids individually. Liz and I even got to go away for our anniversary for a short break in Corfu, and it was such a treat to have time like that just the two of us, to reconnect as a couple and not just parents of our children. Other highlights were an incredible week at Lee Abbey retreating and spending precious time with one of my closest friends; spending a weekend away camping with my elder two daughters and worshipping with them at the Big Church Festival; using my freedom at weekends to visit friends all over the country; being able to see some extraordinary scenery in the south of France on holiday; and, in between all these, simply enjoying ‘being’, taking my youngest daughter on regular walks where we looked at horses and fed the ducks; watching Harry Potter and other movies with my elder daughters; and many more things that in themselves weren’t particularly out of the ordinary, but were precious nevertheless. In my own “sabbatical” time, I loved immersing myself in the story of Jesus in the Gospels and allowing the flame of my faith to grow stronger, and having space to walk in the countryside nearby as well as on a pilgrimage day to Lichfield where I was ordained 12 years ago,, listen to inspiring podcasts (the Bible Project is currently doing a series on the Sermon on the Mount, which is brilliant!), and to write, mainly monologues, etc, based on the encounters Jesus had with others in the Gospels. It was a wonderful time for which I will always be grateful.
One of the pressures I fought against in my sabbatical was the sense of needing to make the.most of it, squeezing every drop out of it and not wasting a moment. I got anxious that I was falling behind on my (self-imposed) schedule when it came to going through the Gospel narratives, which I’d aimed to complete in 40 days. Well, I soon realised this was impossible – for example, it would have involved “doing” the sermon on the mount in two days! To illustrate the impossibility of doing this in any way to do it justice, The Bible Project is going through the Sermon on the Mount in a whole year – that’s 50 podcast episodes! Keeping to this agenda would have completely missed the point of the sabbatical. About a month in, I had.an incredibly helpful chat with my wife, after which I made it my goal to slow down; hence the second half of the sabbatical had a different flavour and emphasis,. As a wise member of my church community reminded me regularly throughout, the priority of this time was to “be”, to learn to abide in Jesus.This is something I have begun to learn to do, although it’s not easy, But, again, I sensed God teaching me an important lesson early on in my sabbatical. As a gift to myself I’d bought an expensive notebook with a fancy leather cover so that I could journal and write in. I thought it was a costly for a one-off notebook, but hey, I deserved it! But then, as I was writing in the notebook in the middle of one of the sessions at Lee Abbey, I noticed that the cover comes off! Something bought for this special time, thinking it was a one-off thing, I will actually keep being able to enjoy into the future. Soon after I realised this, I sensed God saying that this was a picture of what he wanted to do for me in my sabbatical – to bless me in this time in such a way that the blessing will continue into the future. I hope and pray this will be the reality. I certainly do feel renewed and ready to enter and embrace the next season of life and ministry, and I know that this has been a significant blessing for our family life at a crucial time for us.
As I reflect on the time as a whole, I realise just how apt it is that in the midway point of my time was at Silverstone by the pit lane, because it helps me understand and articulate the meaning of the sabbatical to me. I would describe this time as a pit stop. For those unfamiliar with Formula 1, well, super-fast cars race each other around the track for anything between 50 and 70 laps. They go round corners at breakneck speed and quite often attempt risky overtaking manoeuvres, which is when it gets really fun! A central part of the race is a pit stop. Cars will have to go into the pit lane, slow down and have new tyres replaced. Sometimes, if they’ve had a bit of a prang, other parts of the car will be replaced too. In the olden days, they used that time to refuel too. Swarms of machanics would come and do whatever work is needed, and this would all take a few seconds – every tenth of a second would make all the difference and be the difference between winning and losing the race. The driver would not be able to complete the race without the pit stop. So, for me, this sabbatical has been a pit stop. Seeing as I celebrated my 43rd birthday during the sabbatical, it’s taken place at around what could be the midway point in my life. My prayer is that it will have equipped and enabled me to carry on running my race as a disciple and a church leader for the next season of life, whatever it may bring me.
Halwill Publishing 