[Journey with Jesus – Day 17]
Following Jesus was such an adventure. We had seen him do so much, change so many people’s lives – and we, as his disciples, his closest friends, had been witness to it all, and Jesus never ceased to amaze us. In fact, he simply amazed us more and more with the things we witnessed him do. Jesus demonstrated that he had power over evil, sickness and even the winds and the waves; he had authority to forgive sins; he was able to multiply fish and loaves so that they fed thousands – a miracle that happened in our own hands; he walked on water – as did I for a few steps!, and he was even able to raise the dead. As I and the others saw this, the question on the forefront of our minds was simply this – who is this? Who is this man? This was what we were asking after he calmed the storm simply by telling the wind and the waves to stop. They obeyed him. We were frightened when the storm was raging, but a new fear gripped us after we witnessed what he could do. We were in awe of him. Who had the power and authority to do such a thing? It seemed that everyone was asking the same question, and coming back with different answers – some said he was John the Baptist; others, Elijah; still others Jeremiah or one of the ancient prophets come back. But, the more I thought about it, the more I was certain, although I didn’t want to blurt it out loud.
But then, one day we were up in Caesarea Philippi, which had been renamed by Herod Philip, the ruler of these parts, in honour of the Emperor. It was hard not to notice the huge numbers of shrines to many different gods there were in this place, not least the Roman emperors. On the way here Jesus had gone on ahead of us up the road to pray in private but then, when we reached Caesarea Philippi, he slowed his pace down so we could join him once more. He sat down and we sat down with him. He had a serious expression on his face, then said, straight out, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?”
Andrew told him the different answers we had heard on the rumour mill – John the Baptist, Elijah or another of the great prophets.
Jesus paused, then said, “But what about you? Who do you say I am?”
Without any hesitation, I blurted out, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.” I had become more and more convinced of this. All my life I had been taught about the Messiah, the liberator, who become the rightful King of Israel, he would free God’s people, defeat our enemies and establish a new kingdom of justice. The Romans’ hands were so heavy on us there was no better time for the Messiah to appear, and I believed he had – and this very same Messiah was sitting in our midst. The Romans spoke of their emperor being the son of gods, but no, it was Jesus who was the true Son of the one and only Living God.
Well, Jesus seemed delighted – “God bless you, Simon, son of Jonah! You didn’t get that answer out of books or from teachers. My Father in heaven, God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am. And now I’m going to tell you who you are, really are. You are Peter, a rock. This is the rock on which I will put together my church, a church so expansive with energy that not even the gates of hell will be able to keep it out.
“And that’s not all. You will have complete and free access to God’s kingdom, keys to open any and every door: no more barriers between heaven and earth, earth and heaven. A yes on earth is yes in heaven. A no on earth is no in heaven.”
Well, I felt as high as a kite. What an incredible thing for Jesus to say about me! He had set me apart to be the leader. I swelled with pride. The others would have to show me some more respect, wouldn’t they. I couldn’t wait to tell everyone about this conversation – just wait until the crowds heard it confirmed that Jesus was the Messiah. We’d get some real momentum then – Rome would not have a chance. As I was thinking about this, I tuned back into what Jesus was saying –
“…. Now, this is really important,” he was saying, “You have to promise me this – all of you” (he looked at me at this point) – “You mustn’t tell anyone that I’m the Messiah.”
Well, I was flabbergasted, what was the point of staying quiet? I had in mind to let Jesus know my thoughts about this, but thought I’d wait until it was just the two of us – I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of the others.
Jesus was continuing to talk, “Ok everyone, I need you to understand this. It’s going to be necessary for me to go up to Jerusalem, to be rejected, and to submit to an ordeal of suffering at the hands of the religious leaders, be killed, and then on the third day be raised up alive.”
As he was speaking, I became more and more incredulous. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Jesus was the Messiah, so what was he talking about rejection, suffering, and death? I was absolutely clear – Messiahs who suffer and die, well, they’re not messiahs. Messiahs were the ones who’d be victorious. The idea of a crucified Messiah was just plain stupid. What good would that do? If Jesus can do all the incredible things we’ve witnessed, then why doesn’t Jesus ride in glory to power and sweep his enemies aside. What sense does it make to submit to suffering and death? Not only was Jesus saying he would die, but that he intended for that to happen. Something in me snapped – I had to stop Jesus, point out the error of his ways. I was the leader of the gang, and Jesus needed a good talking to. So, I took Jesus aside, away from the others – I didn’t want to make Jesus look bad. “Jesus, you’ve got it completely wrong. This is impossible, Master, it could never be!”
Jesus didn’t let me get any further. He turned and looked at the other disciples, who had fallen silent and were eavesdropping on our conversation, then he said perhaps the most painful thing I had heard from anyone, “Get behind me, Satan!” he said. “You have no idea how God works.”
I winced, and I heard a collective intake of breath from the others. Just what was going on? We didn’t understand it at all. We’d gone from the elation of speaking out Jesus’s true identity, the Messiah of God, to this thunderbolt. Satan? Me? I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach.
Jesus came back to the disciples, who all looked stony faced – I don’t think they understood what was happening either. “Sit down with me,” Jesus said, “I know this is hard for you to understand, but you need to listen.” By this time, there was a crowd that had formed, as was so often the case with Jesus – we were never alone for very long. “If anyone wants to follow me, you have to deny yourself, give up your own way, and let me lead. You need to take up your cross daily and follow me. If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but lose your own soul? Is anything worth more than your soul? For the Son of Man will come with his angels in the glory of his Father and will judge all people according to their deeds. And I tell you the truth, some standing here right now will not die before they see the Son of Man coming in his Kingdom.”
Take up our cross? Deny ourselves? We knew all too well, thanks to the Romans, that anyone who took up their cross was destined for death. This is what Jesus was calling us to. It was such a hard thing for us to hear. It felt that everything changed that day. A dark shadow had fallen over our group. We thought we had it all sussed – who Jesus was, and what he had come to do, but now we weren’t so sure. Jesus seemed to be telling us that we had so much still to learn about his mission and what God had called him to do. One thing I did know, I was determined to follow him wherever it led, and whatever the cost. After all, he was the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.
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