There are many words you could use to describe Pauline. Stylish, hard-working, proud, reliable, honest, encouraging, particular, emotional. There was a brief time of sharing tributes to Pauline at the beginning of the service at St Christopher’s a couple of weeks ago, where she was spoken of as being kind, smart, having panache and style, making everything special, full of joy when she came to faith and someone who really loved her Lord. She would enjoy putting the worlds to rights with others, she was someone you could have honest and serious conversations with.
I would also describe her as passionate. About her faith, about this church, which she served so diligently since she first came to faith about 20 years ago. She was also funny. She had a great sense of humour. I think she would have been tickled by the way her funeral service was described on the notices this week – Funeral for the Late Pauline Blunt – because she was often, wasn’t she? You may not know that Pauline was a bit of an impressionist. A couple of years ago I was with her for one of those times she was putting the worlds to rights as people discussed, and she pulled off the most uncanny impression of Barbara Bell. It was like having Barbara in the same room. In fact, I would say that one of the best parts of Pauline not everyone knew about was her wicked sense of humour. Sometimes the problem was that you couldn’t tell whether she was being serious or not.
The main way I knew Pauline, was in her role as Church Warden. Having served as PCC secretary, she began to be Church Warden in 2010, towards the end of Graeme Pringle’s time as vicar. She supported the church through the vacancy, was then, along with Heather Beasley, part of the interview panel who appointed me as Vicar – so you have her to blame for me being here – and then served as Church Warden until 2021. She was a superb church warden who was a godsend to a new and inexperienced vicar. I would turn to her for advice and counsel when there were decisions to be made, and I appreciated her wisdom, and support. Ultimately I knew she had my back and that she cared about me as a person, a husband and father, as well as a vicar. Of course, we had our fallings out but things were quickly sorted out and forgiven.
I don’t think I could have wished for a better church warden and I honestly believe she would’ve carried on, but the challenges that Covid presented had had such an impact on her, so she felt that she wasn’t able to give her all to this role and as far as Pauline was concerned, it wasn’t worth doing something unless you could give your best to it. This is the principle that she had for herself and she would apply to others too. She would be frustrated if she felt the people weren’t giving their best. Often she was able to keep this frustration in, but sometimes it would spill out and she would make her displeasure known. If Pauline was sometimes too short with someone or too abrupt in her manner, it was usually because of her own insecurities and the fact she cared so deeply about things.
The Vicar and Church Warden role and relationship is a unique one. There are regular meetings, which everyone knows about, but there are also the conversations after the service whenever everyone else has left when you do a debrief – or a post-mortem, if it felt that bad – of that morning’s proceedings. Often it would be a time for us to share more personal struggles together. She was very keen to have a closer relationship, so there would be also regular meetings at her house. She would always be prepared. Tea served from a teapot with the bone china cups and saucers. She knew I was a sucker for biscuits so she would bring out the best ones. I would definitely have my fair share of them. In those times together she would share her concerns, the concerns of others that she very diligently listened to and presented for me. But she would also be encouraging. She would say what she felt was going well, what she appreciated and above all, all the way through, I knew I had her backing and support.
Over the years, Pauline became a friend. We would talk about the ups and downs of family life. We shared in a mutual love for Cliff Richard and would talk about that. We didn’t talk about Brexit! Friendships are often formed in a crucible challenges and difficulties. So, we grew closer after the death of her husband Dave and, particularly after the death of Brian Bailey. So it was that very late on New Year’s Eve 2017, when we had learned that Brian had died, I found myself at her house. We sat together for about half an hour united in shock and grief for our friend. This I feel encapsulates the relationship we had.
For Pauline, the loss of Brian was something she wasn’t able to fully recover from. as I think he had given her solace after the loss of Dave, and in losing Brian she found herself grieving the loss of Dave all over again, as well as feeling left alone some to cope with some of her her ongoing struggles. She struggled with her mental health, and she had barely bounced back when Covid struck. The isolation that many of us felt in that time was, I think a massive issue for her and, as many people experience, when things did return to normal, or the new normal, she no longer felt equipped to cope or contribute in the way that she so often had done and had prided herself on being able to do so. Having said that, she still played a significant role at church, coordinating rotas, leading prayers of intercessions and reading the Bible, leading Together At 2, among other things.
Although her death is a tremendous shock and none of us, not even her, knew just how ill she was at the end, my suspicion is Pauline would not have liked to lingered, to have been ill for a long time. She certainly would’ve hated other people to see her not at her best. Better for her to be remembered as she was in her prime until recently. Proud, strong, a beautiful reader of the Bible, leading prayers of intercessions, kind, efficient and potentially the best church warden I will ever have.
Halwill Publishing 