Last week I spent a precious time at Lee Abbey, with teaching led by Paul and Becky Harcourt. The theme of that week was rooted in John 15, with Jesus’s beautiful teaching on the Vine and the Branches where he says, “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (v.15). The point made throughout that week was that our priority as God’s children is to learn to simply be – to come to a place of awareness of Jesus’s constant presence with us through the Holy Spirit, and to allow ourselves to be loved by him. And then, and only then, are we called to be sent out and be fruitful. We need to be equipped and empowered before we can go and do. It’s like a marathon runner needs to take on the right food and drink that would enable them to complete the race. Without the right food intake it becomes much more difficult.
In that week at Lee Abbey I realised that I have been missing out on this sense of abiding. I have, to change analogy, been running on empty – different things in my life have left me depleted. But, thank God, I have been given the gift of this time to recharge, rest and rediscover the joy of the Lord and to take pleasure once more in God’s Word. And, by God’s grace, something felt like it unlocked in me as I felt freer in prayer than I had done in ages, and I sensed God speaking to me more clearly than I have done for a while. I also sensed the delight of the Lord in the things I delighted in, particularly the gift of the time I spent with a dear friend, with whom I worshipped, walked, laughed and chatted. God was in that time too.
This week has been a bit different – if you like, it’s been the first week of sabbatical proper, as it has taken the shape of most of the weeks that lie ahead. I have sensed that joy from last week is still there and I have enjoyed space to read, write and worship – as well as spend time with my family. It’s been exciting to engage with the gospel story, although I have already found myself wondering if I can possibly accomplish what I want to in this time (work through the “Blended Harmony of the Gospels” and I have to tell myself to slow down and remember that the whole point of this time is to abide – to be, rather than do. As an activist I suspect this is something I will have to keep telling myself. Thankfully God is infinitely more patient with me than I am, and he knows that he has a lifetime to work in me and through me and that this sabbatical may only be a beginning and when it ends his work will continue.
One of the pictures I sensed God give me last week was illustrated by a special journal with a leather cover that I bought for this sabbatical. I realised halfway through the week that the cover was actually removable – that even when the pages of the journal are full, I will be able to continue to enjoy it as all I have to do is to buy some new notebooks that I can slip into the cover. As I realised this, I sensed God saying to me that this was a picture of my sabbatical – God wants to bless me, but that the blessing I experience in this season won’t finish when the sabbatical ends, but will continue beyond this time. This is the case for every powerful experience we have with God – he allows us to have the mountaintop experience that we may be equipped for the normality and even mundanity of everyday life.
So, Jesus, in the whole of my life would I be able to see your work and discern your beauty – through the extraordinary and ordinary, through family, through reading and worship; give me a greater awareness of your presence and love. Would you help me to remain in your love, and as I remain in you, would you help me to bear fruit that will last. Amen.
Halwill Publishing 