[Journey with Jesus – Days 9 and 10]
Have you ever considered just how radical Jesus’s teaching in the “sermon on the plain” in Luke 6 is? I wrote an alternative version of it, turning Jesus’s teaching upside down. Afterwards it struck me just how near to the bone this is in describing the values of the world. I invite you to read this as well as the Sermon on the Plain. I wonder, how closely do our own values reflect those of Jesus or the world around us?
Our alternative reading of Luke 6:12-47 comes from my imagination …
One of those days Jesus signed up a PR and business consultant and discussed with him the most effective way of expanding his ministry. After the consultation he went to Jerusalem and interviewed a number of people after carefully reviewing their CVs, making sure their skillsets were complementary and that they fitted with the corporate image he was trying to build. Crowds followed him, but he dismissed them, telling them to come back and buy tickets for his speaking and ministry tour.
He took his disciples away for intensive training and sat down and began to teach them:
You’re blessed when you’re rich, because you have everything you possibly need.
You’re blessed when you’re stuffed full of food, because being hungry can be really distracting.
You’re blessed when you’re happy; bad things don’t happen to good people.
You’re blessed when the people love you, when they hang on your every word and when you’re the centre of attention – do anything to keep it that way, because popularity is everything.
Rejoice if you have everything this world offers you, because you’ve got it made.
You’re cursed if you’re poor, because you’ll forever be wanting what you cannot have
You’re cursed if you’re hungry and queuing for foodbanks; it’s your fault you got in that mess.
You’re cursed if you’re unhappy, if you mourn and you weep, because people will avoid associating with you
You’re cursed if people insult you or gossip about you, because, well, quite frankly, no one likes a loser.
But if you’re listening. Love those who love you. Hate and spurn your enemies, treat them as badly as they treat you. If they curse you, curse them back, if they ill-treat you, ill-treat them back, freeze them out, have nothing to do with them. If they slap you on the cheek, hit them harder, or even better, hit them first. If someone takes your coat, get it back by any means possible. Don’t lend to anyone – you can’t trust them as far as you can throw them. Do what you like to others. Use them for your own advantage. Drop them when you’re done with them. Only do good to those who will do good for you. What’s the point if they can’t pay you back? Hate your enemies, blacken their reputation, bring them down. Don’t give them even a millimetre, they’ll only take a mile if you’re not careful. If you do this, then you’ll be just like God, who’s watching your every move, waiting for you to get the slightest step wrong, and woe betide you when that happens! He’ll give everyone exactly what they deserve.
You have every right to be judgmental. Judge whoever you like whenever they do something you feel is wrong. You’re better than them anyway. If you can’t judge them to their face, then make sure you’re judgmental about them behind their back. Condemn them, certainly don’t forgive them. Don’t let them off the hook. It’s much better to hold that anger in and let it stew. You’ll get your revenge some day, but in the meantime, enjoy thinking about it. Don’t give too much; your time, money, possessions are all yours and you’ve earned it. Why should you be expected to share? If you give away, you certainly won’t get anything back. If you do give, make sure people know about it, so you’re seen to be generous.
Jesus also told them this parable … Even if you aren’t an expert in something, what matters is that people are impressed with you, so just blag it, google it, pretend that you know what you’re talking about. Everyone’s an expert these days. Don’t trust teachers or those who have spent years studying in order to pass on knowledge. Their training’s been a waste of time. You know better. If it feels good, if it feels right, just do it.
Make sure you point out the plank in your brother’s eye – feel free to criticise them all you like. The speck of sawdust in your own eye doesn’t stop you seeing clearly the fault in others. In fact, who’s to say that there’s a speck of sawdust in your eye in the first place? You see perfectly clearly, you’re above criticism; how dare anyone suggest that you’ve done anything wrong?
A good businessman doesn’t worry about selling bad apples – What matters is not how good they taste, but how good they look. Appearance is everything. By the time that people realise the fruit they’ve bought is rotten it’s too late – more fool them. It’s like that with your words and deeds. All that matters is that you talk a good game, you don’t need to follow it up with your actions.
I love it that you call me, “Lord, Lord!” and pay me lip service – it makes me feel good when you suck up to me like that. What you do afterwards is completely up to you – it’s no skin off my nose if you don’t do what I say. These words of mine are made to he fridge magnets and posters in your life – there to look nice, not to make a difference to the way you live. Don’t worry about the foundations you are building in your life. Good intentions are everything, it doesn’t matter if you don’t follow through. What’s all important is what your house looks like so you can impress everyone on social media. If you follow these words of mine then you will be a-ok. But if you’re not, don’t come crying to me about it – you’ve made your bed, you can lie in it.
This is not the word of the Lord … Thank God for that!
Halwill Publishing 